HD Remakes Round 2

by Unicorn Hole and Pals

supported by
Michael Risser
Michael Risser thumbnail
Michael Risser Unicorn Hole writes what must be some of the best Nintendocore ever released. Exceedingly clever lyrics, great mixing, and very, very good composition. 10/10 would listen again. Favorite track: Fables DX (with Got Item! and Starcutter).
She Wants The D-Pad
She Wants The D-Pad thumbnail
She Wants The D-Pad Amazing as always. These songs are so much fun. Love the style. Favorite track: Rereturn of the Rerevenge (with Weekly Words and Grammar and A Challenger Approaches).
M0SHB1T thumbnail
M0SHB1T Every time I want to awkwardly dance while ripping out my testicles and laughing I just drop in this Unicorn Hole release and let things happen. It's pure magic how this dude manages to melt such different styles together so well. It's masterfully crafted and triggers every single hidden lust in my mind. I can totally recommend listening to it for sex therapy, it makes your penis grow 3 inches. EVERY. TIME. Favorite track: Warp Pipe Shaming (with Are You Afraid of the Dog and Muffin).
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The followup to HD Remakes Round 1 (imagine that shit), this EP mega-evolves five more of my classic tracks (technically seven) into modern Uhole jams. To keep things interesting, each track features a guest vocalist dropping lines here and there, and a guest composer adding a short bridge. If you hear a guest you like, follow their link in the lyrics for that track! Enjoy!


released August 15, 2016

I allow my vocal guests to record lines wherever they like, so if you're curious about who sung what, feel free to ask! The guest composers are credited in the lyrics of their respective songs. Note that the guests wrote ALL of the music for their parts, including the guitars and drums. I mixed everything in my style, but the composition is all theirs! I wrote all of the lyrics though. I also made the cover art. If you're curious about anything else, just ask, yo.



all rights reserved
Track Name: Rereturn of the Rerevenge (with Weekly Words and Grammar and A Challenger Approaches)
From Myspace days of yore- a genre I truly adore
Where Mario meets metal, and stomps down on the pedal
My favorite hobbies making sweet, sweet love
And who'd have thought that it fits like glove?
But there are naysayers, imagine that
Elitists with their monocles and their top hats

They listen to one band, and tell us we should stop
Well sometimes doodoo floats its way up to the top
Like if aliens landed during a show by Justin Beebs
They'd blow us all to shit faster than Samus blew up Zebes

In love with childhood memories
Of warp pipes and big dungeon boss keys
We've accepted that our nostalgia gleams-
The source of our artistry
And I know that those days are now long gone
But I will never not want the feels back
There is a difference between "new" and "upgrade"
So I won't let old days fade to black

N-core was born in 200X
Now let's fight about when it was at its apex
Bands that most would call rad exist both now and then
Bands that most would call bad run rampant once again
But art is art, be it Mozart or farts
The only thing that matters is that it comes from our hearts
And N-core is love

We may be underdogs, but we are here to stay
We're 3 legit 5 quit, so waste no breath on "go away!"

(Roughly 2:15 - 3:05 written by A Challenger Approaches)
A Challenger Approaches with Weekly Words and Grammar
Nintendo bros, that you'd best know
Cause we slam like hammers
Bleeps and bloops and breakdowns too
Bits and blastbeats- it's what we do!

So we'll just keep pumpin out our nostalgic lyrics about
Awesome stuff like Link and Cloud duking it out
Alright, so to recap this is us, it's what we do
And we go fuckin hard!
It's been in our blood since the first time
That we pressed start

Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/the-return-of-the-revenge-of
Vocal Guest: https://www.facebook.com/weeklywordsandgrammar/
Music Guest: https://www.facebook.com/RIP.MorbidlyABeast/
Track Name: Warp Pipe Shaming (with Are You Afraid of the Dog and Muffin)
Let's start with the SNES
A giant turtle took your not-quite-wife
So you take his and his babies' lives
Wear tanooki skin so you can fly
Now ride a dinosaur- this dude's got to be high

Whip Medusa in her floppy boobs
Turn that severed horse head straight into glue
Whip that skeleton's bony dick
Eat some meat you found under a brick

This game's about pounding beavers if you know what I mean-
Smashing large rodents with overgrown front teeth
Your girlfriend looks like a hooker but you won't get a peek
But if you time it right she'll blow a kiss to your butt cheek

There's a fighting game with a panther lady
Who appears to have bananas on her chest
And a futuristic racing game
Where you can choose from almost five whole ships
SNES is the best!

Retro gaming is so surreal
Brings back all those childhood feels
Just give the cartridge one good blow
And you're ready to go

And the N64
This game's about taking pictures of cute little creatures
Which is almost as fun as the peg-them-in-the-face feature
You could slowly progress to the end, but that's kinda lame
Pluck a Diglett from the dirt and snap that shit
To instantly win the game

All 120 days of the year you'll find Jack breaking his back
Manual labor is a blast, who wouldn't wanna play that?
No really, try and see- you'll probably be quite surprised
Cause weeks melt away right in front of your eyes

And there's the wise cracking gecko stuck inside the TV
And no I don't mean the one saving you insurance money
Turtle stole the mustache's girl once again,
But this time the action is paper thin
Just ball his ass up, or even better-
Drop that bitch into a paper shredder

With devious nanner placement I'll give you hell
The only thing I've got to worry about is blue shells
And if you don't like karting, we could always just party

In this game strategy takes a back seat to luck
Yet still makes all your friends competitive as :0
The party's over, and everyone's trashed
A fight breaks out, everybody's gettin smashed
A gorilla gets killed by a cute, pink balloon
She finds the hand of god and murders it too

(Roughly 3:15 - 3:55 written by Are You Afraid of the Dog?)
Retro gaming – warp pipe shaming
Got Are You Afraid of the Dog - and Muffin singing along
So step right up if you wanna get pwned
Countless nights spent with our favorite sprites
In our dark rooms CRTs were the light

Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/no-scope-is-for-children-men
Vocal Guest: https://www.facebook.com/muffinandcupcake/
Music Guest: https://www.facebook.com/areyouafraidofthedog/
Track Name: Fables DX (with Got Item! and Starcutter)

Sitting, waiting, more bored than he thought possible
Transferring boogers back and forth between nostrils
And looking at lolcats just to pass the time
Hitler decides he should check on the tribe

A group that lives under his belly flabs
To respect their culture he vows never to have abs
Finally his assistant barges in
"The bombs are ready and they look like kids!"

"What!?" says Hitler "what the hell do you mean?"
"They've got pigtails so they won't look menacing!"
"That's nice" says Hitler, "now go make my lunch!
And if you don't hurry then your face will be punched!"

And so he does it, just the way the fuhrer likes
The cheese on bottom, to represent the kikes
"And here's your side of Cheetos, you mean ol bitch!"
He rubs the orange dust on the bomb control switch, jerk!


(Roughly 1:15 - 1:40 written by Starcutter)
Starcutter slashes in, runs the assistant through
Killed before he even knew
Hitler, shocked, shouts "nein nein nein!"
"How'd you know my kill count, ya dirty swine?
But I'm batting 1000, ya heard?"
Hitler shouts "you'll die you turd!"
Starcutter closes in, brings Hitler to his end
"I knew I could, but this is a time bend
So I'll be gone and start this scene again.."


The sandwich eaten, Hitler moves on to dessert
Sacred gummy bears that he knows how to convert
Into pure dark power by biting off the heads
Some have black spots but he eats them until he is fed

The assistant comes back with a warning
A great foe arrives by morning
Potato God sends his son to fight
And that shit's going down, like, tonight

Nazi model 552 Zamboni- it was the final straw
Encroaching on indigenous ground squirrels was its crime
And the Potato God saw

Hitler's dog Fufu steals some table scraps
"You goddamn dog, I don't have time for this crap!
Jesus approaches our fight will be great!
I know I'll beat him, so here I'll wait!"


"The army that potato god controls
Outnumbers our own pifold!
They've 3.14 times our men
They double us and then almost again!
Irrational, yes, and it doesn't sound good
We could die, Hitler, we really could!"
Hitler sees the full gravity now he
Looks back at his life and wonders how he

Never lost his v-card in art school,
Better lose it quick or die uncool
He grabs his assistant, a stout young beau
They lock eyes, madly remove their clothes
Through the sphincter the corpus spongiosum goes
But something is twisted here besides their toes

Hitler's moans become harsh and raspy
His eyes sink in, he looks quite ghastly
The dark gummy spots should not have been ignored
The fuhrer has become a zombified whore

Brains and butts are what he hungers for
But all he'll get is pain and gore
Jesus arrives, shoots a rocket in the window
It's beautiful, flames and guts fall like snow
He rides away on his t-rex
Also, Hitler was a cyborg or some shit I guess

Original: https://kittyonfirerecords.bandcamp.com/album/some-songs
Vocal Guest: https://www.facebook.com/gotitemmusic/
Music Guest: https://www.facebook.com/starcuttermusic/
Track Name: Face(book) the Truth (with Chad R and Elemental Plague)
Hello, welcome to Facebook
Where you can stalk, poke, and like
Hope you weren't planning to do anything else with your life
Because you're stuck, you've become one of us
Give in, add all your friends- where is the harm?
Upload half naked pictures, plant your own farm
Ashley posted that she likes Mike, and she means like-like
So now you can all like like that she likes- like like-likes Mike

You've got to make sure that you
Add each one of your close friends
In other words every human being
That you've ever made eye contact with
God forbid you miss that picture of your uncle's cat
Oh look some Greenday lyrics
Aren't you glad that you saw that?

Facebook is 4chan's trashcan
Where old jokes go to die
You're thinking "cool story bro"
I'm thinking "can I rhyme die with die?"
"Share my Facebook post for Jesus
If you don't you'll burn in hell!"
That's right, it's a brand new commandment
Add eternal pain to your interests, you may as well
You'll notice the strange trend that
All your friends are dating hackers
If your girlfriend pulls that shit
Might I recommend you smack her?

You just got a new girlfriend? You feel that special tingle?
Calm down, it's not official
Because her page still says she's single
If she forgot her password, then single she will stay
I'm sorry you're in love, but Facebook's the authority
And if you stay logged on, even when you're gone
Somehow, some way, something will turn you gay

(Roughly 2:05 - 3:00 written by Elemental Plague)
Elemental Plague, the opposite of lame
Without Facebook, wouldn't have heard their name
So I guess it's useful sometimes
Chad and me with these guys is prime!
But still yet..

Maybe this site isn't right for you
You've decided that you are through
You're ready to leave behind this fad?
Well that's just too fucking bad
Cause you can't delete a Facebook profile
Cause they know you'll come crawling back
To them you're a filthy hobo, fiendin for some crack
Also your crops will die!

Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/its-about-time-we-face-book
Vocal Guest:
Music Guest: https://www.facebook.com/ElementalPlagueNxC/
Track Name: Missingno Problems (with GO:ESKIMO and Glitch City Café)
So you think the first generation
Of Pokemon is cool, but that's it?
Sorry but I gotta say, that's just some Tauros shit
Pokemon is still the tits, maybe you just can't handle it
Shorts aren't as rad as Pokemon- and they're
Comfy and easy to wear
Gen one taught us love when we were only eight
It taught us murder- remember Gary's Raticate?

His mom-
Requires a Pokeflute to wake up every morning
Has a Heavy Ball modifier of plus forty
Ohhh, no I just ditten
This shit be critical hittin

You had the only Mew on the playground,
You were the boss of middle school
But after that if you had Pokemon at all
You just weren't cool

How could you turn your back
On the best friends you had?
They'd take a Bubble Beam for you
They are true comrades
If hating on Pokemon is your goal
Then YOU SUCK says Rapidash/Keldeo Hole
Harder than Giga Drain
You're so lame that it's insane
You blow my mind, but you don't care
Like a Diglett sitting in a chair

"But every game's the same
Played it once, you've played em all"
Now remind me how you defend football

(Roughly 1:55 - 2:45 written by Glitch City Café)

Let's get back to Gary's mom, yes let's discuss that ho
She sees more random dongs than the busiest of Dittos
Trashier than Garbodor, easier than Pokemon Snap
She needs a hefty serving of Double Pimp Slap
More people go missing in her Cloyster than in Mount Moon
Escape Ropes are as useless as fighting with a Kakuna
The sight of her turns a Thick Club into a puny nub
Gary only exists thanks to a trusty PP-Up
Ohhhhhhh shit son
He's gonna need a burn heal for that one!

Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/ive-got-649-problems-but
Vocal Guest: https://www.facebook.com/GoEskimo/
Music Guest: https://soundcloud.com/glitchcitycafe