1. |
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Oh, what the heck have we done!?
Yo it’s Uhole and Weekly Words
Back again for the N-Core nerds
On some Uzumaki shit
Spiral into the absurd
Twenty twenty, big damn oof
Not a very funny goof
Violence, virus, wildfires flarin
Rise of super mega Karens
We asked if things could get any worse
And now armageddon has begun
Oh, what the heck have we done?
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2. |
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Heck yeah little dude, you ride your little line
Let’s see if we can have you nail a rad backflip
A few failed attempts, and a few broken spines
But with one small adjustment, you nail that shit
I head online to brag about what we have done
See other people's stuff, “so long bud, it’s been fun”
Instead I’ll click some cookies- I understand this one
This “game” is truly something- not sure if “fun”
But I just can’t stop playing, it’s addicting, uncanny
Nothing can stop me, not even Lovecraftian grannies
I head online to brag about how many I’ve got
See how far the game goes, could quit but I will not
I’ll break this game’s counter, show it what I’m about
Except lol no I won’t, my internet just fuckin went out
That’s fine, it’s t-rex time
Let’s leap over cacti
Duck under pterodactyls
A single hit, we’ll die
You’re with me in my time of need
For that I’ll have your back
Oh wait, it just got fixed
So later chump, I’m boutta fap
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3. |
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Looks like we’ve ruined the earth
Mankind be acting crazy
We killed our entire planet
Whoopsie daisies
Yo aliens, what you up to?
Wanna bail me out of this?
If not it’s cool I guess
I only kinda wanna exist
No really, beam me up
You can put stuff in my butt
If you free me from this place
I really don’t care what
You take me to your leader
You don’t wanna meet mine
Fuck little orange hands
Little green man is just fine
I’m hitchhiking across the galaxy
I dunno where- I guess we'll just see
Cold, black nothing- not really any worse
Earth’s the worst place in the whole universe
If the aliens won’t take me, I’ll catch a ride with Tom Delonge
This is the third reference I’ve made to him in song
If you buy this album maybe you can come too
Just us and every cat escaping from the Marble Blue
Green or grey, someone take me away
I’ll Cash App you money for space gas
Hell, you could just stuff me in the trunk
Just take me away and hecka fast
I wanna ride in your UFO
Cause at this point things are so heinous
I gotta Alt F4 on the Earth
Yeah I’d rather live in Uranus
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4. |
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I barge into the bathroom, run for the farthest stall
Feels like I ran past where there’s normally a wall
I shoulder through the door, but what I find within
Is a large room with yellow walls as drab as sin
Inside the bathroom, I found the backrooms
Needed to doodoo, I found my doo doom
I do my business, and yes Mom I wiped
With one of the countless socks this place has swiped
And littered about- lost Nerf darts and guitar picks
And countless dads that “ran to the store real quick”
One says “hi hungry, I’m dad” then adds “but I’m hungry too”
The buzzing of fluorescent lights has my bearings askew
“Who pays this dang electric bill?” he says, as he scurries away
“And don’t touch the goddamn thermostat!” as his voice fades
Fs in the chat, I’m dead so rip
Buhbye old life, guess I noclipped
A hideous dad monster approaches me
I strike a t-pose, don’t even try to flee
My final thought, as I am bit:
Next time I’m here I should speedrun this shit
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5. |
A Cold Day in Taco Hell
03:00
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You’d always been there for me when I needed you
But you’ve done something cruel, and I’m not feeling well
Others have come and gone over the years
But none have hurt me quite like you, Taco Bell
Mild to hot to fire to diablo, I wanted more
But you had never burned me quite like this before
Oh, T-Bell, why do you
Give only to take away?
My asshole, I would expect
But to treat my heart this way…
Fiery Taco- RIP
Nacho Supreme- RIP
Beefy Frito- RIP
Grillers- are you kidding me!?
Where am I supposed to go?
And don’t you dare say Del Taco!
What am I supposed to do?
Guess I’ll go commit Sudoku
You’ve unplugged my life support
My body writhes, my face contorts
“Have I wronged you in some way?”
My final thought, I pass away
I find myself in Heck,
Here they have also removed Baja Blast
This timeline can’t be real
We’ll never have our fourth meal
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6. |
Eastern Maple Egg Bag
01:53
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(lyrics generated by AI and then shuffled randomly)
Is that really bark?
Is that really bark?
That is rare if it shines
A bitter avocado hanging heavy on the tree
Or eat its leaves and become slaves of the dust
I feel that something is circling
Like a poop from the past
Your grandma takes (she takes)
My pair of shoes (my best shoes)
But my feet are mine
I shouldn’t be here
The only gain is losing the taco
I fell in love with a NASCAR dance floor slut
Come inside the NASCAR shelter
I know where your sister stays
Well the middle East came after me
With NASCAR guard and jets
But then in the mirror I saw him
Mario was never there for me
Beaver broke his feet on foreign roads
If my dad could see me right now
He would never understand my pain
Gladly I shall see you again
That’s the sound of despair
My sandwich was so old
My feet were oh so cold
Alright motherfuckers
For this last part we’re gonna throw down
So let’s crank up the fuckin pan
Ah shit, that’s my fuckin shit
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7. |
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The new Smash DLC will be adding every
Fire Emblem character, and it’s mandatory
The newest patch will trim away all of the fat
“Every non-FE character” is what we mean by that
I’ve got my hundred characters - a huge hoard
Each of them has spiky hair and a cool sword
It’s just like I had dreamed,
Not even one of them is Link
There’s normal Marth and female Marth
And even Kirby Marth (I think)
Sorry Mario, but your fireballs are hella lame
We only want swords and counters in this game
Here’s a quick rundown of Byleth’s moveset:
Press any button for a rad instant death
Byleth over Shrek or Hank is frankly really dumb
Maybe she is Sakurai’s waifu in Fire Emblem
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8. |
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I put the cartridge in and turn the power on
This was my home in days long gone
The screen flashes and returns to black
Black as the evil that back then attacked
The TV rings but I can’t hear the sound
I just hear the calling of the battleground
I turn the power off and back on again
I can’t wait to check on all of my old friends
I should really cut the grass
Pack a lunch for tomorrow
(I really need to-)
A logo shows on the screen
I bask in its familiar glow
There it is! My old save file!
(I should really call my mom)
(I’m overdue for an oil change)
A friend I haven’t seen in a while
(do I have any clean socks?)
(my knee feels kinda strange)
This temple so majestic, it’s just as I recall
This lighting so dramatic, it hasn’t changed at all
This temple (get to work) majestic
It’s just as I recall
The lighting (get some sleep) dramatic
It hasn’t changed at all
Somehow it seems even better
My phone buzzes, I’ll check it later
I recall things I haven’t thought about in years
The colors blur as my eyes well up with tears
Note by note the melodies come back to me
Until my phone buzzes again, what could it be?
(got a busy day tomorrow)
I snap back to reality
I’d better get some sleep
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9. |
We're Not 👌 (We Promise)
02:04
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A brand new year and decade- a new hope
A chance to start again- yeah, but nope
The dumpster has caught fire- watch it burn
The shitcopter tailspins- watch it turn
How did we go from eating ass
To choking on tear gas?
From social anxiety
To full blown global quarantine?
“I ain’t wearin no goddamn mask
So don’t even goddamn ask
It sort of itches on my ears
Grandpa’s lived for enough years”
Meanwhile Earth is on fire
Yeah, cause shit needs to be more dire
Hell, maybe we should just stoke it
We already know- we already broke it
Firemen throw their water balloons
But they can’t seem to figure out their aim
Kobe left us this year
And things just haven’t been the same
Even the murder hornets
That came over to the states
Were like “fuck this, we’re out”
And left us to our fates
Maybe the Mayans were right
Maybe the world did end
So buckle up as heck ascends
This is the end
For sure, the actual end
For real, I totally mean it
This is super duper the end
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10. |
Actually Though, No
03:08
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There’s nothing left
But also nothing’s right
Why can’t real life be
More like Fortnight?
Everyone is sad
Everything is bad
This shit is the pits
And I don’t mean Brad
There’s nothing left
But also nothing’s right
I believe we’ve hit rock bottom
There’s nothing left to do but climb
I believe we’ve hit rock bottom
It’s time to shift the paradigm
It really do be like that sometimes
So let’s climb, let’s climb, let’s climb
Hey universe, guess what?
You can eat my whole-ass butt
Things will improve goddamnit
If just for spite
Go ahead and plead, but no
I won’t say sike
Things will improve
No matter what
You don’t agree?
Well, you can eat my whole-ass butt
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Unicorn Hole Lexington, South Carolina
Uhole is a nintendocore band from South Carolina, since 2007
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